2021.10.25 20:47 ChaoticMutual Who says anyone even need romantic relationships?
More than a year after the breakup of a relationship lasting nearly seven years, I feel like I've finally come through the other side. I can feel my ball of core energy returning, and it's an amazing feeling. I'm not empty and enjoy my own company, my own space, it's so good.
I put this turnaround in part from resisting the urge and opportunities to fall into another relationship during my healing phase. My last relationship was the third of three long-term relationships that go back to my very early twenties. I'm now in my early fifties.
You only love three times, right? Or say the saying goes. Well, I guess I'm done, then. I've had my romantic tour of duty, and I'm happy to think about the future without a so called "significant other".
One thing I've noticed at this point after the breakup is that relationships are so tiring!! And time consuming. Due to my people pleasing I felt like I only had a tiny little space in our relationship I could call my own, and everything else involved walking on eggshells, absorbing my partner's latest problems and trauma. Doing what they want to do, taking up their hobbies, and mixing with their difficult sometimes problematic friends.
I hate myself for staying in that toxic environment. I could have got out of that situation at any time, right? I know anyone here knows how untrue that is when it comes to a partner and/or FP. But wow being out of the relationship and finally outside of the emotional sphere of my former partner, it's exhilarating. I want to keep that feeling. That feeling I have always had in-between my relationships, that vast space where I can be myself, and be happy being myself. Alone, but not lonely.
I have written before that my saying I now longer want a relationship is just a symptom of BPD. An all or nothing, black and white reaction to being emotionally hurt. OK, maybe. But what if some people were just never meant to have relationships, as in the traditional kind, the one-on-one romantic kind, monogamy? Honestly, I just don't think I have the right psychic landscape for that kind of relationship. Yes, there are things I loved about my relationships. The people I was with were good people, helpful people. They had failings, too, like anyone. But they were fun to be around most of the time, and there were amazing moments that you could only really achieve as a romantic couple. But was it worth my mental health, my sense of self and self-worth? No. Absolutely no. If you asked me would I do it all over again what would I say? Hrmmm... that's harder. I learnt a lot from the people I was with, some of it very difficult to articulate. It's impossible to know.
But I do come back to the idea of why there is such importance placed on romantic relationships, because that social pressure kept me in relationships for many years. Why do we adhere so strongly to loving a single individual as though we own them? Why is that model seen as an ultimate goal in our society, especially western society? I have so many more people to talk to now, about so many different things. I'm not stuck in a corner framing the world through my partner's eyes, or how we both frame the world to suit our symbiotic mindset.
Maybe someone would say, "Hey, we can fix your BPD and you'll feel better about relationships again". Hm, maybe. But why do I need to be fixed? What if at least the relationship side of BPD, the FP, the attachment and abandonment issues, are actually manifestations of a personality that just doesn't do well in relationships? It's a spectrum, obviously, not an either-or thing. Some people with BPD may do just well enough in a relationship for it to be worthwhile. But honestly, looking back at my last relationship, I can genuinely say to myself that I am far far better off without it. Or maybe any relationship, for that matter.
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2021.10.25 20:47 smaxlab Are class reunions dead?
Has anyone been to a class reunion in the past few years or have one coming up soon? I graduated from high school in 2011 so this was our 10 year anniversary but I have no clue if there was a reunion. I'm sure COVID ruined a lot of plans and also I'm not on Facebook or Twitter anymore so I wouldn't even know how to hear about it.
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2021.10.25 20:47 Brownboysea I think I just found a song that makes me high
2021.10.25 20:47 greyfalcon333 Jordan Peterson - This Is The BIGGEST SCAM In The History Of Mankind (NEW)
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2021.10.25 20:47 contfligde7hy Corinna Kopf - She Nude Show Big Ass And Nipples Perfect <3
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2021.10.25 20:47 Ho_ro 10 SCHOLARS THIS WEEK
Light Axie's scholarship is currently looking for deserving 30 scholars!
Join Here: https://discord.gg/EzVGuZcDzX
How to be a scholar
There are 3 ways to be a scholar
The first way
Inviting people we host invite competition's every month by the end of the month the top 5 inviters will receive a Scholarship splitting 50/50 profits
Through forms we will be putting up forms for you guys to answer and after we check the forms we will pick 30 people to be in the scholarship splitting profits 50/50. (a monthly thing)
The third way is the highest chance of you getting a scholaAxie team I'm gonna be getting 1-5 teams each week if you would want to reserve a scholarship you would only have to pay 75$ in Bitcoin, eth, ltc, xrp. We would split the profits 50/50. If you are wondering why we would do this it's so we get more funds to buy more teams, Depending on how much you pay you get more percentages Prices: 30$ - 20% off the earnings 50$ - 40% off the earnings 75$ - 50% off the earnings 100$ -65% off the earnings After you pay you will receive your team in 1 day. Note: The teams won't be bad this will be good axies for you to use in arena
When do you get paid?
Every 10th of the month.
No Dm, just keep grinding in discord and wait for updates.
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2021.10.25 20:47 Operation_Subject A random girl in front of me at the grocery store insisted to pay for my 2 items as I was standing in line. Does this mean she likes me?
2021.10.25 20:47 Outrageous_Might_865 Mushroom Identification
2021.10.25 20:47 Unbeatablejohnn more funny memes
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2021.10.25 20:47 myplasticbrain “No plan” birth plan?
I am 36+3, so hopefully in the home stretch. This is my first baby and I have generalized anxiety and am usually a big planner and a bit of a control freak.
I have decided that a “go with the flow” approach is the best option for me with regards to my birth plan- I think this will be best for my anxiety and not overthinking every step of the process. I realize I’m in a position of privilege as I have not had any major complications during pregnancy, have minimal risk factors, and a lot of trust in my providers, which makes me more comfortable taking this stance. I have done a ton of research so I feel well-informed on most of my options and the different possibilities. I plan to ask the team to keep me informed and give their recommendations based on evidence and my particular circumstances as we go, but am trying to prepare for any possibility so that nothing feels like a let down or a failure when the day comes. I have a few preferences and will definitely not be totally passive, I will advocate for myself when needed (for example, I’d like to be able to move around as much/long as possible; I’d like to hold off on an epidural until and if I really need it)… but I don’t want to call any of it a “plan.”
Did anyone else take this approach? Is there anything I’m missing or did this work for you?
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2021.10.25 20:47 unfinishedron Looking for a business partner- Football Gloves
Hello, I have worked in product development of safety apparel for 15 years. I have recently stubbled across a product that is vastly better than any current product on the market. The product I have is new tech and is not on the market anywhere.
I have started and sold businesses in the past. I am not looking for money. I simply don't have time to launch and grow a brand all on my own. Looking for someone who has connections in the sports industry.
I am open to any discussions or ideas.
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2021.10.25 20:47 ParkingCup9255 Darkrai raid 883342867208 and 224623777199
2021.10.25 20:47 roms4 Sacando de paseo al perro maltes | bichon maltes ladrando
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2021.10.25 20:47 fifty4hunn I mean seriously, T1 and DK, who's gonna win?
2021.10.25 20:47 PhilD424 BlueFoxFinance 🔥 Fair Launch Now We will bring security and innovation to Binance Smart Chain.
| BlueFoxFinance 🔥 Fair Launch Now |
We will bring security and innovation to Binance Smart Chain.
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📥 3% Liquidity
📤 2% Burn
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🖥 Website : Posted Today
🥞 PancakeSwap (V2):
📈 Chart (Bogged): https://charts.bogged.finance/?token=0x9A81134801bD4c8db053dAd64fca3049f659E755
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2021.10.25 20:47 Sproat Anyone listening to the podcast?
I’m enjoying the shit out of it. The song “Home Alone” on the first episode was awesome and has an amazing riff. Also episode 2 hearing Brett perform “The Bull and the Matador”, which later became “Lightning” was great too. What are everyone’s thoughts?
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2021.10.25 20:47 T-GayNibba I was taking a mad shit in a school BR and some kid busted through the door and then ran away, advice?
I am strongly liking the option of stalking the bathrooms until he strikes again and beating his ass with group of friends, but if anyone has a more peaceful option, I'm open to different choices though
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2021.10.25 20:47 swiftyys Can someone QC? Another mocha from Mr Hou (very original I know)
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2021.10.25 20:47 Wil-Onishi I love this picture of Glinda!
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2021.10.25 20:47 WeeNash Sometimes
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2021.10.25 20:47 BinaryOptionAlliance 🐕🏀 $ShibaBalls 🐕🏀 | 10% rewards in $SHIB every hour 💰| Fair Launched 🤝| Liquidity Locked 🔒| 100x potential or more 🚀 | Anti Whale 🐋 | For more information please join our Telegram
Are you tired of rugpulls, scams, and honeypots? Today we present you to $ShibaBalls!
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The token will have tons of upcoming marketing so your investment will increase! The yield generating mechanism will help provide enough liquidity to buy bigger amounts in the future and also increases the token value and helps us build the project further.
100,000,000,000 Total supply
50% of the tokens are burned to ensure more token value
2% max wallet to ensure no whales
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2021.10.25 20:47 shortyvonvon In romantic relationships: How do you balance being less of a giver and being more of a receiver?
2021.10.25 20:47 twilight_1111 Trading fr full grown arctic reindeer (picky)
2021.10.25 20:47 asds999 It’s a TIGHT fit!
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2021.10.25 20:47 hillenium What is the Islamic position in democracy?
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